Startup Tests

Imagine that you were turned into an entrepreneur...

What will you do to survive in a startup?

Take the quiz by Mean CEO and see if you can thrive in uncertainty

Let's do it

Your startup needs funding. It’s time to get out of the building and start begging.

Hell, yes! Challenge accepted!

Nice attitude! I see great future in front of you.

Money? I’m not good at fundraising. I will hire someone to do it. Wait, do I need to pay them?

You better learn quickly otherwise it's back to flipping burgers.

What’s a startup?

Oblivion is bliss, isn't it?

Next, please

Go back

It's show time

There’s a deadline coming. You need to work overtime, holidays and weekends to meet it.

Whatever it takes to become a unicorn. More coffee, stat!

Workaholic much? Not a bad thing once in a while.

It’s work smart, not hard. Right? Let’s move the deadline and nobody will know.

I like your outside the box thinking.

What’s the opposite of a deadline? A liveline? Or a deadcurve?

We got a smarty pants over here.

Next, please

Go back

It's show time

They want you on Dragon’s Den (Shark Tank) but you are terrified of public speaking.

Anything for publicity: I will drug myself and do my best. My shaking knees will make a nice tiktok.

Smells like a unicorn!

No way, it’s a waste of time. I have actual work to do. I don’t need all this fluff.

Bad news: doing whatever it takes is your job now.

I need an awesome PR stunt so I can stand out and go viral.

Stop dreaming and get to work.

Next, please

Go back

It's show time

Your future customer requests an extra feature.

No problem: the customer is the boss, so I immediately start building it.

Grow a pair, learn to say No!

No customer, no problem. I’m not here to make everyone happy.

Who needs revenue anyway, right?

I have a potential customer? OMG! I found product-market fit!

Not quite there yet, but optimism is contageous.

Next, please

Go back

It's show time

Everybody loves your free product but you need to make money.

Introduce a fee for everyone and delete all the emails with complaints.

You would make a great dictator!

Charge only the new customers. They were late to the party, so they must pay.

Nice! That's gotta teach the late comers.

So, fixed costs, variable costs. Or value-based pricing? I need to get an MBA first.

Yawn! Learning by doing beats MBAs.

Next, please

Go back

It's show time

You need to build your product asap but you have no tech skills whatsoever.

I will hunt for a tech co-founder and life will be awesome. Wait, how do I turn the laptop on?

Happy hunting. See you in a few years.

Hey Siri, how do I build a piece of software without tech skills?

Not a bad choice, there's hope for you.

Why do I need to build a product? I need to build an audience first.

You are a natural. Born to succeed?

Next, please

Go back

It's show time

You need an office, a coffee machine and some pocket money for creating an MVP.

Let’s apply for funding. Everybody is going to love my awesome idea and a prototype that I have in my mind.

Oh no...realistic much?

How can I earn some cash to get started? What skills can I sell?

Selling yourself for money...I see potential.

If I don’t get the office, then I can have more money for building. Not ready to give up coffee, though.

Hey, Bob the Builder, where are your clients?

Next, please

Go back

It's show time

Entrepreneurship is a lifestyle and not a work-life balance. Do you think you can enjoy it?

No way am I doing that! I always look forward to weekends and vacations. They are the best part of a job.

Go back to the 9 to 5, kid.

Yes! Sign me up! I’m generating ideas even in my sleep and can’t wait to create value! By the way, what if I told you that I can solve your problem of question-generation?

You magnificent bastard!

What’s life? More coffee please and don’t disturb me with irrelevant questions.

You sound geeky, get a life.

Next, please

Go back

It's show time

Entrepreneurship is a financial risk and not a safe deal. Will you put some skin in the game?

Nah, it’s too risky. I’d rather someone else invests into me and I’m safe.

Here kitty, kitty...

Investing my own time, energy and money sounds like a reasonable price to pay for becoming successful. If I lose everything, I just learn from my mistakes and start again.

Cheesy, but true.

Running a company is like chewing glass while staring into the abyss.

Quoting memes here?

Next, please

Go back

It's show time

Entrepreneurship requires you to be the best at all times. Are you an A player?

Love being the best and staying ahead of the game. Others should follow, while I lead.

I hope you know where you are going.

It sounds too exhausting to always try to be the best.

If it doesn't come naturally to you, go home.

I was born the best. No wait, when my mom had her first ultrasound, it showed that I was already validating my first startup idea.

If you are a man- I love your confidence. If you are a woman- stop being arrogant!

Next, please

Go back

It's show time

Are you ready to limit your procrastination?

Procrasti…what? I don’t even own a TV. Are you buying my product or not?

Easy, tiger!

Yes, but…

Oh no, one of those...

Does that mean no TV, no social media just for fun and? Hmmm, I’m not sure I can give it up. Oh! I just got a like on instagram.

Insta queen in da house!

Next, please

Go back

It's show time

Are you ready for challenging questions?

I can neither confirm nor deny it.

I see you came with a lawyer...

Why don’t I get a regular job? Well, I’m simply too unique for anything regular…my mom says so.

Turn yourself into an NFT and mint away.

That’s a great question! I have actually written a post about it in my blog. Give me your email address and I’ll send you a link.

I'm on to you, Head of "Please buy something from me"

Next, please

Go back

It's show time

Are you ready to be a teamplayer?

People are yucky, I’d rather work alone. There’s nobody better than me anyway.

Elon, is that you?

Sure. I’ll take all the help I can get. I need to catch up on my sleep and someone to brainstorm with.

I'm game if you got wine.

Can you repeat the question?

Go back to school. They will turn you into an obedient employee there.

Next, please

Go back

It's show time

Are you ready to fail?

Failing is for losers and stupid people. I make sure that everything is perfect. And if it doesn’t work, it’s not my fault.

Houston, we have a perfectionist over here.

I get knocked down, but I get up again. You are never gonna keep me down

VCs are going to love you.

I think i just failed by deciding to take this ridiculous test.

Whatever. I don't care...

Next, please

Go back

It's show time

Do you have great creative solutions to solve problems?

Technically, creative is already great, so isn’t that a bit of a tautology?

Grammar nazi much?

If you pay me, I can solve any problem you have. If there’s no deadlines.

Solve the problem of developers not meeting the deadlines.

You mean how many creative solutions I have, right? Where can I send you my pitchdeck?

I prefer traction but kudos for trying.

Next, please

Go back

It's show time

Do you have other priorities rather than getting filthy rich?

Of course! I want to be famous and I would like to be better than Elon Musk.

By putting sock on blockchain? Good luck with that.

We are an early stage startup that is solving all of the sustainable development problems with the help of a free SaaS, based on state of the art inclusive blockchain and unbiased AI technology, which helps create a diverse and happy society. And we do NFTs, of course.

I'm feeling nauseous. You must be a vegan as well.

I have been working for free for 2 years getting my startup off the ground. What do you think?

What's with the attitude? But I see what you mean.

Next, please

Go back

It's show time

Are you ready to sell your products by yourself?

Nah, I’m a software engineer. I create great products. So the product will sell itself.

I hope unemployment benefits are good in your country.

I hate being a sales person, but I knew what I signed up for. So, yep. Whatever it takes to become successful. Even very cold emailing.

I'm getting cold already. Your attitude is working.

Are you ready to buy my product right now or are you chicken?

That's offensive to chickens.

Next, please

Go back

It's show time

Are you ready to make your angry customers and employees happy again?

Will a yummy cake make you feel better? Tell me, what’s wrong and what can I do?

Eating the problems away...could work.

It’s not my job to make people happy. If they are inherently unhappy, they need medical help.

Loosen up a bit. It's just a humorous test.

Depends on my mood.

You must be a woman.

Next, please

Go back

It's show time

Stay away from startups. You are too good for them.

On the other hand, I might be able to help you. I have seen worse. So take my advice and start with the free pitchdeck course, which even the cheap people love. It will give you the taste of freedom and endless possibilities. If you are not satisfied afterwards, feel free to create a better course and give it out to people for free.

Do over?

You like some danger, don't ya? But does danger love you back?

Who cares if it's mutual. Just go for it and eventually you will succeed. Or not. I don't really know. One thing is sure, though. The "build a landing page in 1 day" course will do you a lot of good. You deserve your own website, people need to know about you. You got it, you magnificent adrenalin junkie!

Do over?

You are doomed....to succeed!

I can't believe that you actually got the score this high. I would have never taken you for a true entrepreneur. My bet. I won't offer the free pitchdeck course to you like I do to the losers or the landing page course like I do to the posers. You, my friend, deserve to pay for knowledge (smart people know that time is money), so go to the shop and buy yourself the "build your startup in 4 weeks" course and make me proud!

Do over?

Get yourself a drink and let the Mean CEO help you.

Are you contemplating getting into startups?

It doesn't matter if you are just thinking about BEING AN ENTREPRENEUR, already running your first startup, or are a seasoned founder...

Some might even say offensive. But if you don't understand sarcasm, don't even take the test: startups are not for you as being able to smile uncertainty in the face is paramount for success. Go work for the government instead.

This test is Funny